Archive for end of life

The way to go

Posted in Healing with tags , , , , , , on September 22, 2010 by ellocogringo

Listening to NPR (no I’m not a long hair, communist, pinko, non-coagulating bleeding heart liberal) but this was good nonetheless. The story was of a woman who’s father was in a hospice care facility. He had been languishing for months. Reading the paper to him, she mentioned a jazz concert being held that night. His eyes lit up. He loved jazz, particularly this group. “Do you want to go?” popped out. “Yes!” She dressed him, put makeup on to hide his palor, she wheeled him out of the hospice, past the protests of the attendents who said it would kill him. At the concert hall it was sold out. She banged on the door till someone came, explained the situation and they wheeled him backstage where he got to meet the band. It was the first time she had seen him happy in months. He died somewhere towards the end of the show. He was smiling. Like dying on your feet rather than living on your knees. Good on ya, gal, good on ya.

Dancing with death

Posted in Healing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 15, 2010 by ellocogringo

“I’m a dying old man, and I’m afraid of the dark” – John Wayne, The Shootist

Dancing with death

My observations when the asshole PA triggered a HOCM attack was a feeling of viewing the events in the third person and anger bordering on rage. My consciousness (ANN) pulled back, making an objective, objective (not a repeat) evaluation of the situation. (the caretaker referred to in MPD?) JBT reported the same thing. The ever curious eLG becomes hungry. Tentatively, the reticulator is an intensity amplifier, the aggregate and accumulate weighting applied to the cognitive process. Simply put, when the oxygen level in my brain decreased the reticulator cranked up the amplitude, “whatever is happening, this shit is serious, do something NOW.” I did. Viewed in this context my actions, calling the PA an asshole and storming out, were perfectly rational. I did the right thing and probably saved my life. The anger was essential to saving my life, impelling me to do “whatever it took” to get me out of a hazardous situation. eLG exploded, overiding societal constraints. The ANN stands. Not a crazy reaction but a sane reaction to a crazy situation.
A good definition of anger would be “you are being screwed”, directed inwards. Depression as “you have allowed yourself to be screwed” or as Jung stated “depression is anger without the enthusiasm”
Oddly, I ran across Dr. Dart again in my research. (AspertaSupra) He’s Romanian, not italian. In view of my previous hits, he (she?) evidently is writing papers concerning the reticulator and epigenetics. Possibly the reticulator is the activating mechanism???? I’ve got to get a translation of his papers or get it translated. eLG continues to feed. The following are preliminary entry points, although I’ll have to wade through a bunch of meta-physical bullshit to find out what’s happening.
Or I could be full of shit, I am crazy, don’t you know?
Near-death experiences
Main article: Near-death experience
Another form of spontaneous OBE is the near death experience (NDE). Some subjects report having had an OBE at times of severe physical trauma such as near-drownings or major surgery. In the case of motor vehicle accidents, they are able to recall the accident as if observing it from a location outside the vehicle. – Wikipedia
Reticulator Activator
Have you ever even heard of your Reticulator Activator?
If you haven’t – you’re not alone, but – you DO KNOW what it is.
Its the part of the brain that heightens awareness of certain things at certain times – that’s what your Reticulator Activator is.

the Obelisk

Posted in Cosmos with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 19, 2010 by ellocogringo

Are we approaching Singularity?  Hmm!  I say we are approaching an awareness of singularity that has always been.  A re-folding of the “unfolding in the now” Martin Heidegger  The method espoused by various groups differs, but the central theme seems to be awareness.  A re-connection, not with the universe, but our awareness of the universe.  Method? Dunno.  But it’s gonna be a battle.  The hyper-males which have removed this connectedness are going to fight.  Every previous attempt at connectness has resulted in a collapse of civilization.

If this collapses again, here are some commandments for the survivors.  I reall this has happened once before, IE an obelisk was erected to remind descendents of what happened when a hunter gather society collapsed.  1 500BC – largest existing obelisk  In the wake of the last Ice Age the fertile savanna grasslands continued to dry out and receded to the large river plains of the Nile, Tigris and Euphrates, Indus, Ganges, Chang Jiang and Huang Ho. Following these receding grass plains were the herdsmen and their herds. Population density exploded along the fertile valleys resulting in armed conflict over available land.  Deja vu all over again  MathLab

Might this be the source of the “tower of babel” mentioned in Genesis?  “According to the biblical account, a united humanity of the generations following the Great Flood, speaking a single language and migrating from the east, came to the land of Shinar, where they resolved to build a city with a tower “with its top in the heavens” Time’s right, area’s right, situation’s right.  Could be.  Deja vu all over again.

StarTrek had a different vision of the singularity. The borg a hive mind in which all intelligence is subsumed into a Master mind, leaving the individual little more than a robot.  Not unlike today’s society.  “resistance is futile” again not unlike today’s society.

And then of course there’s 2001, the monolith of Space Odyssey fame.  A bit more benelovent that the other obelisks.  For it’s meaning check here.  Yu WILL be suprised.  The starchild represented enlightment and rebirth  again check here for meaning. This is an interesting site BTW.












Posted in About Me with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 6, 2010 by ellocogringo

Back to About

The Oracle

Musing – Contemplation; meditation. – Free Dictionary
Muse – Absorbed in one’s thoughts
Muse – (n) a seer
Muse – Greek Mythology Any of the nine daughters of Mnemosyne and Zeus, each of whom presided over a different art or science.
Calliope>Epic poetry>Writing tablet
Erato>Lyric poetry> Cithara
Melpomene>Tragedy>Tragic mask
Polyhymnia>Choral>poetry Veil
Thalia>Comedy>Comic mask
Urania>Astrology>Globe and compass
Delphic oracle, the most important oracle in the classical Greek world, The oracle consulted with the muses to answer questions of importance.
I am going to use the word musing for what is happening in the right mind, thinking isn’t really appropriate. Do you notice the close correlation between what the muses did and what we think we know of the right hemisphere? (taking into account the culture differences)
I don’t think the muses were myth in the strictest sense of the word. And there really were oracles. I posit that the muses were a mental framework (similar to the ANN) that the oracles used to do bottom up thinking. (I think that an oracle was, in fact, a person capable of bottom up thinking)
Posit – to lay down or assume as a fact or principle
If true, I am the Maylene Muse.
When I get curious about something, the answers start coming. I may be full of shit, but it sets the algorithms, (top down thinking) for better or worse, with the best answer to date.
As far as the right mind is concerned, the point of all this is that there is no point. There is no goal, no conclusion, no target, no “scientific method”. When I get curious about something my right hemisphere starts “free associating” with the contents. It doesn’t assume anything. And there’s a lot there. The entire universe (As I have perceived it) Every thing I have seen, experienced, felt, thought, heard is there. All knowledge that I have ever acquired is there. This is what is not working in most peoples minds. This is the insight, the epiphany, the bullshit detector. This is the way the mind is supposed to work. And it has been crippled. The wires have been cut to the light bulb. And the muses are dismissed as myth. This cutting causes the beast, the hollow man, the abyss, the superficial man, the p-zombie or whatever term you wish to use. A cultural lobotomy. What would society be like with a thousand da Vincis, a million, a billion, 6 billion? Maybe there will be a 100th monkey happening.
Nice pictures here> Golden Muses
And a nice take here> Apollo29


England AFB

Posted in Travel with tags , , , , , , , on June 25, 2010 by ellocogringo

1960-1961 So I go “back to the farm” A dairy farm outside Alexandria, La. I’m a pasture cowboy. Why do they call cowboys cowboys, they’re not cowboys they’re steerboys, I’m a real cowboy, Think longhorns are something, try herding Jerseys. Working 12 hours a day herding cows had even less appeal than it did when I left. Not a lot of openings for a guy whose experience is in blowing things up. Looked up my old buddies, shit, they’re still kids. Shit, this really sucks.

So after 6 months, back to the USAF. Wanted to change career fields from blowing things up. “Special Weapons?” I was asked “What’s that” “can’t say, it’s classified” Sure, why not? So I go to Lowry AFB in Dever where I was trained in fire control, (weapons control, radar etc. with a follow up course in “special weapons” Graduate and get my first assignment. England AFB in Alec. How lame is that.

Got inroduced to the F-100, We called it the lead sled because of it’s flat bottom and flight characteristics. It was a conspiracy between North American Novelty Company and Minneapolis Honeybucket. The picture shows it as I usually saw it. With the bays open. Under the “hood” was the weapons control, radar, yaw/roll and pitch gyros etc. It had 4 20mm cannon in the nose, the two inside ones were boresighted accurately. the two outside were worn barrels, scatter the pattern all over the place like a shotgun. The two bays behind the cockpit where where the ammo went. A case of beer would fit quite nicely in each, and it needed balance anyway. The -40 degree temp at 50,000 feet would chill them quite nicely. The picture on the right is the cockpit. The fire control system would project a reticle on the HUD (Heads Up Display). It’s basically a automatic gunsight that calculates the lead. This ain’t like shooting skeet, you have two targets trying to shoot each other down in three dimensions at 600 mph. It also had LABS (Low Altitude Bombing System) for “flinging” a nuke some 20 miles” Dropping a nuke from low altitude is pretty much a non-starter.

In the military they speak of mega-deaths not mega-tons. IE how many deaths a bomb will cause if dropped in a populated area. Creepy mindset. Here’s the first of an eleven part series on the mindst. Dr. Strangeglove It is difficult for people today to realize the psychotic levels achieved during the cold war. On several occasions we went on full alert, fully expecting to be “crispy crittered”. More from this mindset is on the beach. The ending scene from the classic movie of 1959, On the Beach. After a nuclear war, Australia is the last inhabitable place on Earth until the radiation comes. This shows the characters final goodbye’s before they die. The last minute shows a very depressing view of a deserted Melbourne. Look for Ava Gardner, Gregory Peck, Fred Astaire, Anthony Perkins and Donna Anderson. We came real close folks, we almost bought the shithouse. I went to Australia later, OTB is a taboo subject.  Australian women wear what looked to be the standard panty, but they called them undies.

Got to wear white fatigues but had to clean them every day. Got to talk to psychiarists once a month, I don’t think they were worried about the bombs themselves, but I knew how to fuse them, and someone could tell what the target was if they knew how a bomb was fused. Making one is pretty simple, it’s the infrastructure that prevents proliferation. The psychologists were idiots. The would ask a series of questions from a form with yes no boxes for my answers. Pretty easy to see what they’re doing. They will give you a “speed bump”, a shocking question and you’re supposed to progressively get inured. For instance, “have you ever masturbated?” and you’re supposed to be shocked the first time the question is asked and progress to yes, hesitantly, then more at ease then still do, then wanna watch? Tried for a transfer, to no avail, so I started confiding to the idiot problems I was having with my family. That worked. Got transfered to Germany. For a prelog I was in Alec when the first gulf war started EAFB had the flying tigers squadron with A-10’s. When finished they transferred back to Cherry Point, NC and closed England . They didn’t even make an announcement, slimey bastards EAFB Nukes

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The Ace

Posted in About Me with tags , , , on May 13, 2010 by ellocogringo


As I again come face to face with the inevitably of my own mortality, I am forced to ponder. eLG keeps throwing an ace out. You’ve got to play the hand you’re dealt. I first think of Kenny Rogers – The gambler.

The Gambler

You’ve got to know when to hold em, know when to fold em,
know when to walk away know when to run”

That’s kind of it, but I don’t want to “break even”, I want to win. Then there is the Epiphany Express The journey home. That’s some of it too. It is the journey that is important, not the destination.

Ephiphany Express

The refusal to surrender is part of it. The keeping of one’s integrity at whatever price. Do not go gentle into that good night

Dylan Thomas

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And the resoluteness of the Maori.

“be strong, be brave, be forthright and sure”


and the timing of the Klingon, we must make everyday “a good day to die”. Never losing the wonder of the universe and the understanding that we are an integral part of it.

“Today is a good day to die”

“When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced. Live your life so that when you die the earth cries and you rejoice” – White Elk Herein lies the understanding that life has no beginning and no end. There is only now. The past is memories only and the future is speculation. One must end one’s life in the present, ensuring that when one leaves the world becomes a lesser place, and where one goes becomes greater. That is the only way to win. Life can end at any moment, always could, always will. That is my ace in the hole. That is the only way to carry chips away from the table when the lights are dimmed. There is only now.

“Ode to Entropy”, by John Updike: Death exists nowhere in nature, not in the minds of birds or the consciousness of flowers, not even in the numb brain of the wildebeest calf gone under to the grinning crocodile, nowhere in the mesh of woods or the tons of the sea, only in our forebodings…

Waters Of March Music Surrender