Archive for anger


Posted in About Me with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on September 20, 2010 by ellocogringo

el Loco Gringo Rides Again

Going Sideways

“Going sideways is a way of life” – el Loco Gringo

Going sideways is more than just a parlor trick to gain an entrance to the sub-conscious, It is a philosophy, a world view, a way of life. It is taking the path less traveled, pushing the envelope, reaching down inside yourself to pull out a greatness you didn’t know existed. To be more than you can be. To know that when you die the world will be a better place because you have lived in it. To witness the judges face when, after spending 3 days in jail for calling an asshole judge an asshole, you can say, “I wasn’t trying to insult you your honor, just informing you of a fact, no more, no less.”(one of the other inmates commented “Jesus, you called the judge an asshole? All I did was rob a convenience store. You bad, man.) Priceless! Knowing that I always tried to do the right thing, even when no-one was watching.

To know that no joke has been un-laughed at, no road un-traveled, no adventure un-taken, no joy un-celebrated, no sorrow un-mourned, no friend abandoned, no victim of injustice un-defended. To be proud of your children and doting on your grandchildren. To be able to pass on family traditions, like teaching him to write his name in the snow. He even crossed the t. I’m so proud. How to make that disgusting noise under his armpit with his palm that women hate. How to burp the first 12 notes of the “star spangled banner”. My daughter says I’m a bad influence on them, but she smiles when she says it. To hear her quote me to her kids, word for word, what I told her as a child.

Reading Ayn Rand opened my eyes to an explosion of opportunity. In my myopic male viewpoint on life I had been sniping assholes for years. With her female viewpoint a myriad of opportunities opened up. I can go after them all. In one swell foop.

So many assholes, so little time

Life is Good

elLocoGringo BipolarManicDepression Essence Menard Windows Spark Chariot Express Weird ThereIStood EndGame Revenge MyPlan Wizard of id Still Crazy I’ve always been crazy Satisfied Mind


Posted in Cosmos with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 16, 2010 by ellocogringo


“occidentals seek insight, orientals seek outsight” – el Loco Gringo

“In the most embarrassing cases, the person who offered the observation is convinced that the full import of his insight can’t have been understood, and insists upon pressing it again and again. What’s actually happened, though, is that the person has outed himself as desperately behind the curve by offering the very opposite of an insight: some utterly elementary point that everyone else had taken for granted as a premise of the conversation, and indeed, one too obvious to be worth stating among (so they had thought) other reasonably bright and informed people.” Here’s an idiot found here>juliansanchez

and my response

I have an example, every physicist knows that the universe is of a wave nature, Plato, Newton, Einstein UNDERSTOOD this. Yet physicists continue to describe the universe in euclician terms. This is fine if you’re trying to build a bridge but totally inadequate if you’re trying to understand the nature of the universe. Pointing this out to a physicist is an an “outsight”, an elementary and fundamental point that has been overlooked in the discussion. It’s what I call the aristotelian brain fart. Most of the people in this thread are idiots, (used in the clinical sense.) excepting lj and one other. Don’t take umbrage, you’re in good company. most people are idiots. ” run with the squirrls

I notice that everytime I inform someone they’re an idiot, all the love seems to get sucked out of the thread. How odd.

Other terms I’ve heard for idiot, second hander, 2d, hollow, golem, zombie, stupido, superficial, sub-normal.

Please pick another if idiot offends you

Core Beliefs

Posted in Healing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 25, 2010 by ellocogringo

The Choice is yours

Return to> the minds

Response to comment  by Hambydamit – My comments highlighted and below the feathers

“Is it possible to find nirvana secularly? Not a Buddhist “deathless” nirvana, more like a Maslowian self-actualization nirvana.

Sam Harris made a pretty big deal about this in his speech at the conference. Personally, I think his ideas were fairly reasonable, and he just found the worst possible way to say them to a bunch of dyed in the wool atheists.

As others have pointed out, there’s nothing mystical about meditation. There’s also no guarantee that you’ll find anything that will make you happy through meditation. Daniel Dennett made a really good point when he noted that the vast majority of people who go into caves for three years to meditate don’t say anything useful or interesting when they come back.

I’m a big fan of cognitive therapy. I think you might want to give that a look. It’s not something you even need a therapist for if you’re truly honest with yourself and aren’t afraid to ask hard questions. Just buy a textbook from a college bookstore and learn how to do it yourself.

Here’s the basic overview:

* Humans develop “core ideas” that are more or less hard-wired into our brains when we are still quite young. Epigenitics again – walt ref “asperta supra”

* These core ideas help us form shortcuts so that we don’t have to reason through everything from the beginning. They’re like our own personal axioms — things that are self-evidently true, and don’t need to be evaluated further.

* The problem is that sometimes we form core ideas that are false. Nope they’re taught – walt

* False core ideas lead to lots of false beliefs that we may not even consciously know we have. The neurons don’t exist. An unknown known- walt

* Identifying false core beliefs leads to identifying self destructive behavior patterns.

* Identifying self destructive behavior patterns leads to identifying “triggers” that cause us to engage in those patterns.

* Once we identify the triggers, we can begin to reprogram ourselves. When a trigger happens, we consciously override it. Over time, our new behavior patterns replace the original ones, so that we now have true core beliefs and healthy behavior patterns. Burn new neural pathways – walt

In fact, I can’t think of any reason why you couldn’t meditate as a means to discovering false core beliefs. Why not have the best of both worlds? Anyway, check out cognitive therapy. Nothing can guarantee happiness, but I’ve got a lot of personal and anecdotal evidence that it can work.
He’s right on about the “core beliefs” which I would call imprinting. The false beliefs are learned beliefs that are consistent with the core beliefs. For instance the “core belief” of the aboriginal belief system is “man belongs to earth, earth doesn’t belong to man”. Without this core belief, the entire aboriginal world view collapses into meaningless babble. This central thread can be found in all American belief systems. Cherokee, Meso-american, Aztec, Mayan, Incan etc. The learned beliefs, which seem to set them apart are only superficial.

Still working on that channeling center you asked about – walt

Mindfulness Contemplation PDF


Posted in Healing with tags , , on June 6, 2010 by ellocogringo


“Insanity doesn’t run in my family, it gallops”

I like my anger. It is power. It is what impels me to action. It is exilerating. For this short piece I’ll use Sigmund Fraud’s model of the psyche, id, ego and super-ego. But even a fraud can have insight. For instance he observed that all women have a penis envy. (it is after all, such a beautiful thing.)

I had the good fortune to grow up on a dairy and had to handle the cows on horseback. So I guess I really am a cowboy, albeit a pasture cowboy. I used to feel the same thrill when galloping as fast as I could go. The horse is doing what it loves to do, and I am doing what I love to do. I have all this power under my control. Being young and stupid, I tried it a couple of times sans tack (bareback). The thrill is gone, replaced by terror, a surreal sensation where everything is happening in slow motion. This happens to me when I get angry, everything slows down and I can see in great detail, kind of a third person perspective. I’ve dropped the reins and the horse is out of control.

In Germany they have what are called ghost riders, drivers who will get on the autobann with the intent of suicide going balls to the wall the wrong way. These accidents are horrific. I think they named them after this song. I can understand why.

So anger is the ego riding the id with the super-ego holding the reins.

Check this thread out. This will piss you off. People with integrity are getting weeded out of the system. He’s a fucking hero, at least my hero. No wonder the world’s so screwed up. Don Quixote

Don’t drop the reins.



Posted in Healing with tags , , , , , on May 30, 2010 by ellocogringo

The Lunatics are running the asylum!!!

Religious or Spiritual Problem is a new diagnostic category (Code V62.89) in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual-Fourth Edition

Problem? Yeah, they have a problem. They have to deal with idiots.

They’re still trying to stuff people in baskets. Each individual is unique, complete in and of himself. As indeterminate as it is possible to get. Centering should be a goal to be striven for, not an anomaly that idiots see as odd. The only two baskets that have any validity are idiots and non-idiots. They know, but do not understand. Man has got to quit using top down thinking exclusively or he will go extinct. I have a fear that if I start talking like an idiot, I may start thinking like one. (stupid may be catching) el Loco Gringo jumps in whenever I get too professional. I have to stand back and view man from an anthropological point of view to avoid getting sucked into the “crazy”. What Grof describes is a potential only.

The only society I have seen that wasn’t pathological was in Singapore. This is probably because they have an oriental view on life (bottom up) and have been injected into the occidental view on life (top down) they consider themselves in the anglosphere, ie Britain, Canada, US, Australia. They be yining and yanging scientifically. Perhaps it is transitory. I hope not.

Spiritual Emergence has been defined as

“the movement of an individual to a more expanded way of being that involves enhanced emotional and psychosomatic health, greater freedom of personal choices, and a sense of deeper connection with other people, nature, and the cosmos. An important part of this development is an increasing awareness of the spiritual dimension in one’s life and in the universal scheme of things.” (Grof & Grof, 1990)

“If understood and supported appropriately, these experiences can be deeply transformative, offering the possibility of breakthrough rather than breakdown. Read more about what we understand as spiritual crisis. (I hurt, heal me?) el Loco Gringo\

Clinical Language
“Being given a diagnosis of schizophrenia was not helpful for me. It created a learned hopelessness in me and my family who resigned themselves to the established belief I would always be ill, unable to work and always need antipsychotic medication. There is a deeply held assumption that schizophrenia is a disease-like degenerative process. Thus the category of schizophrenia is associated with a failure to recover and a gradual deterioration in social functioning. It is more helpful to see each individual’s mental health as a unique and evolving story, which is importantly influenced by social and relational experiences. “ – Rufus May

Managing Mania

Posted in Healing with tags , , , , , on May 30, 2010 by ellocogringo

Right Mind Optimization

“To be more than you can be” – el Loco Gringo

As it is necessary for the right mind to be able to transfer a concept to another mind for it to become “real” and relevant to coping with the world, It must get past the doorman. As the input function of the right mind has been crippled in most people by the taboo, the lattice, and other imprints the mind becomes clogged, constipated if you will, with unresolved issues. (No I’m not implying that psycho-therapists are douche bags)

This requires a mirror, a person who can “deep listen” on the patients own terms. It is not necessary that you agree, indeed, a valid challange will demonstrate that the concept has indeed been transferred which is the important thing, not that it be validated. If you want to use computer terms, this is a clean and pack.

This is of particular importance to the professional, who has not only his/her unresolved issues to deal with but those of the patients. A support group would seem to be crucial for maintaining the balance.

Lifes a bitch, then you die” – el Loco Gringo

Bipolar manic/depression is just an idiot’s way of saying genius” – el Loco Gringo

It has already been discussed how depression is only the mind’s way of concentrating attention. So now I’ll put my 2 cent’s worth in on the mania part of this equation.

It must always be remembered that the mind is a chaotic system operating on the edge of instability. (see the chaotic mind) ”there is a thin line between genius and insanity” – Oscar Levant How very true. We’ll try to stay on the genius side of that line and avoid slipping into insanity.

There is no safeguard against spinout in the mind. Once someone has spunout, it will require a mirror to get him back. A sideslip with a regroup meme should do it. This will give him a space in his mind to be sane in. From this safe vantage, “deep listening” therapy (Rufus May) can be used to resolve the issues involved one by one. Once the whirlwind has been reduced to a dust devil, he can be instructed on how to use communication to resolve any remaining issues.

“What is a mirror?” you may ask. Thanks for the question. It goes to the crux of the problem. The left hemisphere operates as a serial processor, dealing with issues in a singular fashion. The right hemisphere however, operates as a parallel processor collating the input data into a form that the left hemisphere can quantify. (count) The associations in the right hemisphere do not become real until they become part of the survival strategy for dealing with the world. IE they have to be communicated to be considered as relevant to life and resolved. The person who has spun out has a whirlwind of concepts that he is unable to resolve without a mirror. That’s why god invented mom’s. They will listen to any seeming nonsense to help their son/daughter resolve THEIR issues. (unless mom is the issue of course) It must be remembered that these are THEIR issues and must be resolved by THEM in a manner that fits THEIR view of life. It is the act of communication alone that is solely responsible for giving them the ability to resolve their issues. Any input only adds another level of complexity to the problem. They are NOT seeking solutions. They are seeking a friend. But a friend will try help by injecting his truth into the conversation.

This then is the role of the psychologist. A professional friend. Someone who knows not to inject their truth into the session. Instead of “you should have… “ try “I would have been terrified, what did you do?”. You must pull, not push.


I’m beginning to get a handle on what a psychologist would call anxiety and depression. Since these terms have been stripped of meaning by psychobabble, I will use my own spinout and lockup. These are just two levels of the same mental activity. The result of a seemingly unsolvable problem of the victim. It is what happens with a top down thinking fail. TRUTH cannot be found so the mind is frantically searching for p-truth. As I mentioned before, for these p-truths to be accepted as relevant to interfacing with the world by the left mind, a concept must be transferred through the the victims algorithms AND the therapists algorithms to become relevant to survival. The image I get is of an octopus grabbing ANY data which may be even remotely related to the problem at hand and presenting them to the ANN for acceptance (or rejection). But for acceptance to occur a concept must actually be transferred from one person’s mind to another’s, else resolution is not possible. (It is not relevant) Talking to an idiot doesn’t work, nor does talking to a coffee table. The person must be sentient, IE a non-idiot. Lockup occurs when these concepts cannot be resolved, and they won’t be resolved until the concept is communicated. Resolution may and usually does involve discarding the concept so another can be sought. Only then can the victim resume searching for a resolution. The victim must find his own solution, in his own terms to his own problem in a manner which fits in with his coping mechanisms. Replacing his truth with your TRUTH is like throwing a bolder into the stream to correct the turbulence caused by the original stone. I posit that in some cases, Idiot psychologists are driving patients into insanity, who are then shot up with dopazine* and institutionalized. Deep listening, mentioned by Rufus May, is something I intend to explore. A therapist should be a professional friend, someone capable of understanding the victim without injecting his/her own TRUTH. That’s why god invented moms. He/she should pull, not push.

*Dopazine – any of a broad spectrum of psychotropic drugs which turn the victim into a dope. Also available in generic form as smartacide


Posted in Healing with tags , , , , on June 26, 2009 by ellocogringo


Not very deep inside of me lurks a beast. It really doesn’t take much to unleash it, and when it rears it’s ugly head, you’d better take cover.

What is anger? You have allowed yourself to get screwed. It’s OK to be angry, but anger is an emotion and must not be allowed to consume our mind in a manner which negatively impacts our quality of life. Stuffing it only allows it to simmer and poison our psyche. Like a forest fire it must be allowed to run it’s course cleaning out the underbrush. It must be contained, but not extinguished.

What about anger management techniques, Inner peace, yoga, inner child, meditation, harmony, trust in God. Crap!! When your kid breaks his arm, you don’t take him to church, you take him to the ER. That’s why people go postal, the anger goes unaddressed and turns to fury in frustration. The anger must be sated. It is a need, a living thing. You can’t cure hunger by going on a diet. You can’t cure fatigue with exercise. You cure hunger by eating. You cure fatigue with sleep. You cure anger by defending yourself.

Your mind is under attack. Not from the outside (the screwer), but from the inside, (the screwee). You are pissed at yourself. This is your psyche screaming “How DARE you let this happen to me, do something, NOW!!!” But you can’t think while your anger is yelling at you to “Do something!!!’, It is a mindless thing, like a child throwing a temper tantrum, it must be reassured and soothed.

Regroup means; gather your resources, fall back and form a defensive perimeter. It carries an element of command, it is to be obeyed instantly without discussion. This same concept can be used to provide a place in your mind to be sane in. Then you can watch the anger burn. It can be a cleansing experience.

While it is burning down, you can contemplate how to keep this from happening again. IE Defend yourself from untrustworthy people. Resolve to regroup if your mind becomes too “busy”. This anger is directed against yourself for allowing this to happen. This is why it is so frightening. You have violated the implied duty to protect your psyche. Once an effective defense mechanism is in place, the anger will be satisfied and dissipate. Now you can “Do Something”

Look at it as an opportunity to tune up your defense mechanism. Once the anger is sated you will feel a calm descend on you. You will be better for having experienced it.

Anger alleviation regimen Choice

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A Righteous Anger

Posted in About Me with tags , on June 26, 2009 by ellocogringo


“Some things a mind just can’t walk away from”



I have spent a lifetime trying to figure out why people are dumb, intelligent maybe, but dumb nonetheless. The final (so far) data point has matched and the colossal stupidity of mankind has hit home. I am FURIOUS. The squggly lines are back. (I set a trigger point, good thing too ) 30 years ago it was frustration. This time it is anger. It is a righteous anger. It is mine. I own it. I have to let it burn out to avoid spinning out. Extinguishing it would probably lead to a collapse. For now I must revel in it, enjoy it, marvel at it’s pervasive nature, be aware of how it permeates every corner of my psyche, rejoice in the intensity of the emotion, It is glorious. That part is under control, I just have to keep it damped. I know what I’m doing, I am, after all, the worlds foremost, (and only) authority on the mind. Once it burns out, I will be back to the old sweet cuddly fuzzball beloved by all, specially me.

“Perhaps the reason people think my concepts are strange is not because I am crazy, but that they are stupid” – el Loco Gringo

I had a gift to give mankind, and was dismissed as crazy. A gift that would have opened mans eyes to his potential glory. It was rejected as naive and un-nuanced. It would have freed man from the drudgery of a meaningless life, mindlessly wandering the ant warrens of the empty society he has created. In a strange twist the cosmic finger of fate threw the dice and a mind was created/evolved that was un-locked, centered, intelligent, constructivist and without taboo. It may never have happened before, it may never happen again. I was the joker in the deck, the card that matches everything. I was never played. I wish Einstein were still alive. I could tell him he’s wrong. God does, indeed, play dice with the universe.

I know why Ayn Rand cried. The angst is overwhelming.

It would have been simpler to just dismiss it as “people are dumb” as my daughter does and let it go at that. But that is not my nature. I am, after all, a sheepdog.